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Sorry, the old consumer can’t come to the phone right now…. Why? Oh, cause their dea—on Messenger.

Facebook messenger is fantastic. Seriously. It’s a massive platform that so many brands are not using today. And many of those that do use it don’t even begin to understand its capabilities. Honestly, there are so many things this platform can do.  Remember Zuck’s ultimate goal is to make it so you never have to leave the facebook app when doing anything online or digital. Since knowing this stuff is quite literally my job, here are some of my favorite things messenger can do that you do not know about. 


Space isn’t unlimited on cell phones yet, and phones are still coming with plenty of bloat-ware. Facebook understands this. To help you save space (and keep you in app longer), there are a plethora of games built right into the app. Some of these are pretty big name games too. I’m talking about  Pac man, Words with Friends, Cut The Rope, and tons more.

Send Snapchat like profile codes, and Filters

Facebook saw people migrating to Snapchat. Snapchat turned down facebooks bid to buy them, so Facebook just became Snapchat. And it worked. Anything you can do in Snap, you can do on FB. Except it’s better because Snapchat sucks.

It has its own website

You don’t need to be on Facebook or in the app. Just head over to Something many people don’t know is you don’t even need a Facebook account to have a messenger one. Fun fact. But it also has almost all the same perks and features that the app has sans a few.


Every day more and more news comes out about messenger bots. I personally love them; they can curate your news, guide you down a funnel or just entertain you with jokes. There are bots for everything from marketing and consumer info, to booking a restaurant for you. These bots are getting more life like all the time. Soon we will cross that uncanny valley. I honestly can’t wait.

Transfer Files

File too big for email? Need to know someone got something? Just attach it to messenger! This is can anything not just pics or videos. Any file type can be sent a raw file just by hitting the paper clip button from desktop

Blow up ANY emoji to show you much you feel that thing you feel

Is something kinda funny, really funny, or LMAFO funny? Let the other person know the size of your emoji. Size matters after all. Ya know I think I heard that somewhere.

Send videos

Send GIFs and videos up to 15 seconds to anyone at any time.

Send Money

Much like Venmo, quick pay or many other payment apps, you can connect credit cards to Messenger and send cash to a friend. Quick fast secure and painless. Now you can make it rain.

Start Encrypted / Secret Conversations

Need to keep something secret from someone else? Want to pass the encrypted information along? Need to feel like Edward Snowden? You can do all of this by using Encrypted messages inside messenger. You can set messaged to self-destruct after a certain amount of time has passed.

Make the most crystal clear phone and video calls

If you have never made a phone call via Messenger, you are doing phones wrong. I’ve been with a  few different carriers, but this while the reception of a phone call consistently sucked, when calling via messenger is a night and day difference. Try it. You’ll be amazed.

Know when you are getting ghosted

Know when a person reads your message. It shows you it’s been viewed. This makes it harder to be ghosted. Not only that it shows you the last time, but they also checked messenger. We see you ladies. We know what you’re doing 😉

Color Code conversations

Juggling women, I mean conversations?? Never live with the fear of sending the wrong pic to the wrong girl by color coding them! Just look at all you have to pick from!

Vote people in and outta the Fam for their weak moves with group chats

Unlike getting stuck in a group text, with group chats you can add and remove people at will. You can also mute chats for certain times or until you turn it back off if you don’t want to leave a chat, but don’t want 20 people blowing your shit up.

Poll people in chats and set events

Figuring out what to do with your friends like herding cats? Take control and create a poll. It allows people to vote for what ever you want. Say it is for an event or plan, you can set a date time and what, and Messenger will remind everyone in the group like an alarm when its time.

Send Spotify songs

Tell that girl how you really feel and that you’re still a high school boy by sending her some jams! It’s like a shitty mixed tape. Or say you hear a total jam and want to remember it later, just look it up in Spotify inside messenger and send the song right to them.

Summon a pledge I mean Uber or Lyft!

Just say the word Uber or Lyft in a message, and this will pop up. It functions the same as for as the app with telling you how long it will be, who it will be and will send you a receipt after.

Give real-time location updates.

It’s like friend finder meets GPS. See a google map overlay of where ever you are, and you and a friend can share real-time locations within 10 feet! Say you’re lost in a crowd, share location. A friend asks where you are or where in a bar, don’t explain just share location. Location shares will only last with whoever you want to show it to, group or person, for up to 60 minutes. You can always end it earlier.

Route all your text through messenger

This is very useful when playing the Bumble field. For example when you convince them to give you their number, if it is tied to Facebook  (8/10 times it is) and you get that first text, it will auto populate their Facebook profile making the creeping that much easier. All with out the other person knowing. 😉. Game recognizes game.

Change the main emoji per conversation

When the thumbs up simply just isn’t enough for your group of degenerates, there are quite a few more options to pick from. Simply go to your groups or message you want to set a new emoji to… click the top right I button in a circle and select emoji. Give a scroll to see some of the other options.

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